Realisation
by sour-cherry-scones
Summary: Simon and Baz are in their last year at Watford. (In this story the Natasha Grimm-Pitch visiting didn't happen, just so it doesn't tangle up this story discussing that)Baz is still hopelessly in love with Simon, but is too scared and repelled by what would follow to really do anything about it, and Simon loves Baz too but doesn't realize it. My first Snowbaz fic, see where it goes.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N : As you should be aware all rights to the characters/world used in this story belong to Rainbow Rowell._

Simon put on his pyjamas and fell into bed. I would use something like "slipped", or, "floated", to describe how he got into bed, but it just wouldn't fit. Simon Snow is not an elegant person, he's more of an…'elephant' person.

Simon thought about what his room mate, Baz, was doing, as he gazed up at the ceiling. He'd mumbled as he walked out the door that he was going to 'get some fresh air', but Simon knew that he was really going hunting. Simon wondered if Basil's hair was falling in loose waves over his cheeks right now, or whether he had possibly tied it back to get it out of his face while he drank. 'Does Baz ever tie his hair back,' he thought, 'well, he would look stunning if he did.'

And then Simon abruptly stopped himself thinking about that, as Baz was his mortal-enemy after all, and you really shouldn't think things like that about your enemies. At least, that's what Simon believed.

Basilton thought about Simon, as he stalked through the catacombs, looking for rats. 'Is Snow asleep?' He wondered, 'Are his lips curling into a smile as he dreams? Or is he tossing and turning, stuck in another nightmare, one about the night he and Bunce were taken by the Humdrum, probably?' Baz wished he could just give Simon a comforting hug, every time this happened, he wished he could just hold him, then maybe even kiss that little mole above his cheek. But, unlike Simon, Baz didn't stop himself thinking these things. Baz thought like this often, it was what kept him going, thinking about the very alive Simon Snow.

Back in their room, Simon fell asleep with a smile on his face. He had been thinking about Cook Pritchard's roast beef as he drifted off.

Baz slipped into bed a while after, feeling much better than when he'd left. He hadn't consumed any blood for two days before the eight rats he'd drained tonight. He rested his head on his pillow, and fell asleep gazing at Simon Snow's gentle, sleeping form.


	2. Chapter 2

Simon woke up just before the sun rose that morning. He always woke up early. It was necessary so that he could get to breakfast first and eat as much butter as he wanted without being criticised.

He opened the curtains, and got changed into his uniform in the bathroom. When he came out, the sun was just slithering through the their window, a ray of it settling over Baz' body. Simon looked at Baz, and thought, that, for once, his face looked happy and blissful. He wondered what Baz was dreaming about.

Simon tried to sneak out the door quietly that morning, but, of course, he still managed to make a substantial amount of noise, and heard a soft groan from Baz as he closed the door and headed off.

Basil woke up to the sound of Simon Snow leaving their room. 'Good,' he thought,' now I have the room to myself for the morning, without Snow to get in the way and knock things over.' Baz had been dreaming about Snow, actually. He really hoped he hadn't said anything in his sleep. He was pretty sure he didn't sleep talk, but the worry was still valid. Just imagine what would

happen if Simon did hear Baz say something softly about him in his sleep!

In the dining hall, Simon happily started tucking into the butter with his spoon. He was just about to bite into his dairy-laden crumpet, when someone sat down beside him. "Great snakes Simon!" Penny said, "How much butter do you need on that crumpet?"

"A lot, I guess?" Simon replied, then took a bite. Penny sighed, and then, looking slightly disgusted still, put a bit of toast on her plate.

"Why are you down here so early, anyway?" Simon asked Penny. She wasn't usually down to breakfast this early.

"Trixie," she said with a sigh. Simon didn't need any more explanation than that. He knew fully well that Trixie could be a riot. Penny looked tired. "Her girlfriend 'round last night too?" Simon asked with half of his mouth full.

"Yes. And she didn't even leave until about 1 am." Penelope sounded extremely annoyed at this. Simon decided to leave the conversation there.

Basilton strolled into the dining room, looking handsome as always. He spotted Wellbelove sitting alone again, 'Still not back with Snow, then ,' he thought, 'I really expected they would have sorted out their little difficulty by now.' One part of Baz was happy that Simon and Agatha weren't back together yet, the surface part of him that was enemies with Snow. But the other part of him, the part that just wanted for Simon to be happy, was still disappointed at what he saw. And it made it feel even worse to think that he was the one that caused it.

 _A/N: Thanks to anyone who's been reading this! It is my first fic on here, and I know it's a bit disjointed and not the best, but i hope you like it! There will be more to come. Let me know what you think, I would be thrilled to hear any of your opinions. ;)_


	3. Chapter 3

Simon's mind drifted that day, while he was in Political Science. It drifted to the day he saw Agatha and Baz in the Woods. It was just for a moment he'd saw them, and he hadn't really thought about it in depth before. He'd just expected that they had been kissing or something else traitorous to Simon. But now, he thought about it more. Maybe they hadn't been doing what he thought they had. Maybe they had just run into each other in the Wood, Agatha out for a walk, and Baz on a hunt. They could've just been holding hands in the shock of bumping into each other. They certainly had looked pretty shocked, hadn't they? It was something to consider at least, Simon thought.

Basil saw Snow gazing out the window in Political Science. He couldn't look at him for too long, or someone would suspect something, and he really needed to catch up and get to the top in this class, but he could take a small moment to look at the way the sun fell on Simon's face from the window, lighting up his eyes, and making his skin look a shade of pale gold. Baz wondered what Snow was thinking about, and then got back to work.

Later, in Greek, Simon saw Baz looking out the window, to the serene school grounds. Simon wondered what he was thinking about, and looked at the way the sun made Baz' pale skin glow, and his hair look even softer. He just wanted to run his hand through Baz' hair, right then. To slide his fingers over his strong cheek bones. And then Simon started to think more and more things about Baz like this. He thought about, how, every time came back from somewhere looking could, he just wanted to wrap his arms around him and warm him up. And whenever Baz walked out of the shower, into the morning sun, he wanted to touch his skin and see if it was really soft as it looked. He thought about how every time he saw Baz sleeping blissfully, he just wanted to be there beside him, or in his arms. And he thought about, how, when he looked at Baz' lips right now, he so badly wanted to kiss them. He'd never really wanted Agatha, Simon realised (even though she was a good friend and all), he'd wanted Baz.

Baz went hunting in the Catacombs again that night. He wasn't really that thirsty- he could easily go another day without drinking- but he wanted to go down there anyway. He needed somewhere he could think, and the Catacombs were perfect for that. Always quiet, no, always _silent_ , almost eerily silent, but Baz didn't mind that. He was alone there. And he wouldn't have Snow getting in the way as he tried to think properly. Which was a bit ironic, really, as Snow was always the one he'd go down there to think properly about. Tonight he needed to think about how he'd hurt Simon, recently, i.e. The Wellbelove Incident, and how he could possibly fix it. Baz didn't usually think about ways to fix things he'd done to hurt Snow; They were mortal enemies, and that wasn't really his role. But he hated how Simon looked lately. How unhappy he'd look (apart from when he was talking to Bunce, he always looked happy with her), like something was constantly playing on his mind. And Basil was pretty sure that something was how Snow had seen him and Wellbelove the day he was taken by the Humdrum. Maybe it was a bit selfish or naive to think that Simon was thinking about he and Agatha all the time, instead of the Humdrum, the greatest threat to the magical world. But he thought he was right. And he would be damned if he didn't try to fix it. Aleister Crowley, he loved him. And he just wanted to see him smiling again. it wasn't like he expected it would end up with them kissing or anything.

 _ **A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Some Snowbaz is to come soon. Remember to follow if you want to see it! ;)**_


	4. Chapter 4

Simon walked across the grounds with Penny, the sun slowly setting to their side. "Penny," he said, once they got to the door of Mummers House, "you know you can't come in while Baz is in there. He'll get you suspended." Penny looked like she was considering arguing this point for a moment, but then just sighed. "Fine," she huffed, and headed towards the Cloisters.

Simon climbed the stairs, and got to the door of their room completely ready to just rest. He had been unusually tired today. But, when he opened the door, Baz was sitting on his bed looking directly at him. "Snow," Baz said, sounding less annoyed than usual, "I have something I need to tell you."

Well this, Simon thought, could be interesting.

Snow didn't tell him to shut up like Basil had expected. Instead, he sat down on his bed, and said, "okay." Baz didn't really know how to start this, he'd never had a conversation with Simon that didn't involve glaring or sneering. So, he jumped right into it, figuring he might as well just do it, saying "Wellbelove and I didn't kiss that day."

"What?" Snow blurted, looking shocked. Baz was pretty bloody sure that what he'd said just before was loud, clear, and in English, so he just waited for Snow to digest it. But he didn't.

"What?" Simon repeated, "You're telling me that the day I saw you holding both hands and looking into each other's eyes like a classic love scene, you didn't kiss?" Snow looked confused. And slightly frustrated, but then again, he usually looked frustrated when talking to Baz. Basilton sighed and decided to repeat what he'd said to Snow. "Your girlfriend and I," he explained, "we didn't do anything that day." Simon looked skeptical.

"Are you sure, Baz. Or are you lying to me?" Simon replied. "Wait, no! I know what you're doing. You're trying to gain my trust so you can do something horrible to me, aren't you?!"

"Simon, no," Baz interjected, but Snow kept stabbing at him.

"You're always trying to ruin my life Baz!" He shouted, but then stopped and looked up in thought. "Did you just call me Simon?" He asked.

"Yes, why?" Baz replied, even though he knew. He always called Snow by his last name, out loud, anyway. But he just wanted him to listen and take him seriously tonight. That's why he'd called him Simon.

"You never call me Simon," Snow pointed out, "why now?" Baz sighed, and then answered.

"I just want you to listen to me Snow. I'm not lying to you. Nothing happened with Wellbelove. Well, nothing serious, I may have given her a few winks in the dining hall, but, that was really just so you would think something had happened, or was happening." Simon looked slightly less skeptical now.

"Go on," he said. Baz wondered how far he should take this. He was telling him the truth about what had happened with Agatha, but should he tell him the whole truth? He'd _already_ ruined his reputation. Why not just go for it?

"Simon," he said, using his first name felt strangely good, but he knew he'd go back to 'Snow' soon, can't overdo it or it'd lose it's thrill. "I am speaking the truth when I say this, and it's not something I'd usually say to you, _ever_ , but, I'll say it. You've looked so down these days. Every day I've seen you since breaking up with Wellbelove, you just haven't looked right. And you're always _thinking_. You never think usually, I know this from observation," Simon looked slightly offended, but also like he knew that Baz was right. Baz couldn't stop now, actually telling these things to Snow felt so right. "Snow," he continued, "I just want you to look happy again. Every time I see your face with no trace of a smile on it, my stomach just drops to the floor. Which it usually does anyway." Baz mumbled that last bit, then looked up at Simon again, "Just smile again Snow, please," he said, with a rare look of vulnerability upon his face. "Just know that nothing is happening with Wellbelove and I, and that I don't actually want you dead. Just be like you were before." Simon looked up at Baz, comfort and something resembling fondness spreading across his face.

Baz stood up from his bed, "Now, let's never speak of this again," he said, and tried to walk away, but a hand on his arm pulled him back down.

"Baz," Simon said, a smile spreading across his face, "thanks. Thank you so much. After that, I think I should be honest with you now." It was Baz' turn to look confused.

"Really?" Basil said. "I thought you'd be frowning and walking away by now." Simon looked to the floor, and then started. "Look, Baz. You're right."

"You're going to frown and walk away?"

"No. You're right that I haven't been too happy lately, and that I've been thinking a lot." Simon prepared himself for what he was about to say, then continued. "I've been thinking a lot about mine and Agatha's relationship. You see, I like Agatha and everything, she is really lovely, but, I've only ever kissed her twice. And the second time, it was her that kissed me." Baz had gone from looking confused to slightly intrigued. "The thing is, I don't think I ever really wanted Agatha. Well, maybe I did way back at the start, I dunno, but I think she was more of just a friend than my girlfriend. Look, I've been thinking about this for a little while, and still haven't got it completely sorted in my head, but I think, what's really happening is…" Simon looked down at his lap. He really wasn't sure about saying this now.

"Is what, Snow? You can't just stop now."

"Is that I want you." It came out rushed and slightly mumbled, but he'd said it. He'd just gone and bloody said it. Great snakes, had he just professed his love to his greatest enemy? No, that wasn't rational. He didn't actually _love_ him, he just had a, well, a kind of big crush on him?

"Sorry," Simon mumbled, slightly regretting what he'd said now, "I'm not really sure actually, if what I think is true. I probably shouldn't have said it actually." But then his lips were silenced by a Baz'. He pulled away, shocked, and Baz looked slightly petrified, but then leant in again wrapping his hands around Baz' neck.

Baz ran his hand though Simon Snow's curls. Crowley, he'd wanted to do this for so long, he had been close to breaking. And now he was doing it, and he could hardly believe it. He, Basilton Pitch, was kissing Simon Snow! The Mage's heir, his supposed mortal enemy. He pushed into Snow harder, as his hand explored his back. Simon's hand was now under Baz' own shirt, sending warm shivers down his spine, and his hand tangled in Baz' hair. Baz soaked in as much as he could of the feeling of Simon Snow against him, kissing him, and then broke apart.

Simon gasped as soon as they did so. "Are you sure now, Simon?" Baz asked.

"Hell yes" Simon answered, and then crashed into him again.

They hardly slept that night, but when they did, they slept beside each other, Baz limp and soft in Simon's safe arms, Simon's nose buried in Baz' silky hair. They finally had each other, and never asked for anything more.

 _ **A/N: Well, that was jolly fun! Snowbaz, finally ;). I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes in the previous chapters. I've seemed to think it's a good idea to write and upload them right after in about the hour of 11 at night! I hope you have enjoyed this fic, and liked the ending. (Was it good enough? Should I write more). And, as always, I'd really appreciate it if you gave it a review. ;)**_


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